My legs and arms were hairless and my skin felt ultra sensitive. I looked aroundthe room. I saw a baby's changing table, but it was adult-sized. There werepink dressers and I saw an open closet full of frilly baby party dresses thatlooked to be in my size. On the walls, under pink and white striped wallpaper,were a number of framed pictures. One had the purple Teletubbie waving. Anotherhad Barbie. Several had naked, muscular men. One right above my bed containedtwo footprints in my size and next to it said, "Baby David" (My nameis David) and it had my measurements printed out. I realized I was wearing a diaper and also felt the diaper was full of mypiss and shit and from my slumber, the shit had spread all over! The man walkedinto the room and towered over the crib and lifted me out quite easily. Hegrasped me in his big arms and kissed me on the lips. "How's my new babygirl doing today?" he smiled and said. Finally at this point I startedto protest and asked what happened to me. But I. I decided to play dead, like Falstaff."Nothing. She asked me if I could write her memoirs and we've been talking about that." I thought that was pretty smoothly delivered.He wasn't impressed with my literary expertise."Nobody writes memoirs of a junior Senator's wife while he's still a junior Senator," he growled. "You're in college, so you can't be a complete idiot. What's going on?"It was time to stop acting like a bumpkin."Mrs. Doe must be the complete idiot then, because she's the one who brought it up. She even told me her personal assistant... Donna, or something like that... said it was a great idea. I know I'm not going to publish anything in the next year, but what if her husband becomes a SENIOR Senator, and goes on to become somebody actually important? A lot of guys would love to be writing her memoirs then, but I'll have the advantage of already having been hired." What's she paying you?" he asked."That hasn't been negotiated yet," I said promptly. Stay with the truth..
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